Darryl Parr

Darryl David Parr, son of Bobby and Shirley Parr, died at the age of 52 Saturday, December 7th at Christus Sister Mary Hospice in San Antonio, Texas. He was preceded in death by his mother and father. He is survived by his brother, Terry Parr and his wife Alice of San Antonio, his sister, Sherry McCoy and her husband Michael of San Marcos, as well as his nephews Eric Parr and Justin McCoy and his nieces Jennifer McCoy-Balboa and Kellie Parr. Darryl was born in San Antonio, Texas on March 24, 1961. Darryl graduated from Edison High School in San Antonio, TX in 1979. He went to work at Paul's Nursery from which he developed a lifelong love of plants and horticulture. He later went to work for Bank of America followed by his present employer of 11 years, Citibank. Throughout his journey of life, Darryl made lifelong friends, many of which came to the hospice facility to bid him a final farewell. He will be missed by many. Darryl will be buried next to his father and mother at the Waelder City Cemetery. A funeral service will be held at the First Baptist Church of Waelder, Texas at 11:00 am Saturday, December 14, 2013 followed by a short graveside service and interment. There will be a reception at the First Baptist Church Annex immediately following for family and friends to celebrate his life. If you have memories of Darryl that you would like to share with his family and friends, you may leave them on the Meadow Lawn web site. Darryl's family would like to extend a special note of gratitude to the doctors and staff of Christus Sister Mary Hospice for their kind and careful attention to the comfort of Darryl and his family and friends. In our time of need, they were there for us. Funeral Location: First Baptist Church of Waelder 410 N. Avenue E Waelder, TX 78959 Date: December 14, 2013 Time: 11:00 AM Darryl Parr Eulogy March 24, 1961 December 7, 2013 Often in life, we ask ourselves "what is the measure of a man?" What is it that makes a person a good friend, a good brother, or a good son? The answer is not in how you act, because acting is not who you really are. Sometimes the answer is not in what you say, because often we say things we do not really mean. The true measure of one's life is to look at how they affected the lives of those around them, how the people who shared the day-to-day struggles remember them, and whether they helped make the trials of others less of a burden or added to them. My brother was a man, and like all men, he had his faults. At times, he could be surly and sarcastic. However, he was also capable of great compassion, he was funny, and he was generous to a fault. I think all who knew him probably saw all of these traits in him. What speaks volumes about this man, my brother, is the love and compassion expressed in the faces of all of his friends in his last hours. He had so many friends, and they had so few moments to share in his tragically shortened life. However, all of us who shared some of those moments know that it was not his way to add his burdens to ours, that he took simple pleasure in helping others cope with their troubles, no matter how trivial. In the end, his burden was more than he could handle. Indeed, it was more than any of us could have handled. However, Darryl took it in stride, not allowing anyone to suffer with him until his final few hours. There were far too few moments in his final hours. If only My brother, Darryl, was born on March 23, 1961. Darryl was my baby brother then and still is now. Being the youngest of three siblings, sometimes he could be a real pain. I can still remember holding him when he first came home from the hospital. He got a lot of the attention as a baby that Terry and I were used to getting. Nevertheless, we loved him anyway; he grew on us as babies so often do. I don't think momma ever really stopped seeing Darryl as her baby boy. In almost all of our family pictures, she was always touching Darryl. Our family was close, but momma and Darryl were even closer. I sometimes wonder if even then my momma knew that Darryl would be the first to come back to her. Momma just seemed to know things. As a family, we did not have a lot of money. What we had was each other, a farm, and a love of the outdoors. We did not go to Disneyland or on cruises; we went camping, hunting, and fishing. Darryl was not much into hunting; he had a soft spot in his heart for all animals. At the farm, he and momma named all of the cows, names like "Clippity Clop", "Sugar", "Tar Baby", and "Cover Girl" among others. Every new calf would get a name, and even the last time he visited the farm he remembered the name of all of the older cows, telling us how old they were and when they were born. He also had a love for plants, filling our back yard with hundreds of pot plants.no, not that kind of pot plant! Our back yard was like a jungle, but it was his tropical paradise and he took pleasure in it to the end. He even had a "few" jungle cats, actually over 20 of them! As I said, Darryl had a soft spot in his heart for animals. Darryl graduated from Edison High School in 1979. He made many friends in High School. A friend reminded me of a time when he decided not to go to his 30th high school reunion after sending in his RSVP. Several of his old classmates, noticing that he was not there, decided to pay him a visit after the reunion. They went to his house and papered it, noisily throwing rolls of toilet paper against the windows until he finally woke up and came out to visit. They looked very formal and proper in their velvet dresses and high heels. Darryl, wearing pajamas, looked decidedly informal. This did not stop them from taking pictures of the whole crazy affair. They were a crazy bunch, and they were his friends as so many were. After high school, Darryl went to work for Paul's Nursery. It was during this time that he developed his love of plants. He read books and studied them, becoming quit the expert in all things having to do with plants. He planted several trees at our family farm, trees that today grace my home and remind me of him every time I see them. Later, Darryl went to work for several banks, SACU, then Bank of America, and finally his current employer Citibank. In all, he worked over 30 years in this industry, gathering many friends along the way. During his last hours, the friendship and support shown by his coworkers and friends overwhelmed us. I will confess I was a little intimidated by the thought of giving a Eulogy for my little brother. When you grow up with someone, there are so many little stories in your mind, and although they seemed funny at the time, years pass and you feel as though others would not get it because "you had to be there". I was at such a loss about what to say that I did not know where to begin. I asked his friends to help me out, thinking that perhaps they would know the things to say. The results of that were overwhelming. Everyone had so many stories to tell that now I had the opposite problem. How to fit all of those cherished memories into the few minutes I would be able to talk without crying. How to pick one funny moment and leave out another or telling how he touched one person but not telling how he touched them all with his kindness. Rather than try, we decided to make a "journal" of his journey through life as told by his friends. We added a slideshow of not only his childhood, but also pictures supplied by friends that show better than any words I can say exactly how Darryl touched the lives of those around him, that show his funny side, that show the measure of the man that is my brother. I would welcome any who will to share their memories of my brother. To all of his friends, his acquaintances, his family, I know that Darryl would not wish to be held close by grief. He wanted everyone's memories of him to be those he cultivated as carefully as the plants he cherished. He did not want anyone to see him sick and in the hospital. As his friends will attest, Darryl wanted to be there for them, but he never thought that he would ever be the one in need. When Darryl first became ill, he did not seem to want anyone to know how seriously ill he knew he was. He continued to go to work, to tell his coworkers he was OK. He did not even want his family to know he was sick. He was a very proud and private person that thought he could handle all of the twists in the road of life himself. In this, there is probably a lesson for us all. For some of us, it is simply to learn to give of yourself to others as Darryl so often did. For others the lesson may well be to allow others to share your burdens. It is OK to ask others for help. It is OK to lean on your family and friends. However, I think the most important lesson in this is to cherish the moments you have before it is too late. Not to let someone slip from your grasp without letting them know how much they mean to you. Celebrate the time you had with Darryl. In death, God does not grant second chances. Be at peace with those you love and treasure every moment you are given. God does not tell us in advance how many moments we will get. He does not say, "You will get 30 minutes" or "You will get 30 [weeks, days, months, or years]". Any of us can be here today and gone tomorrow, just as Darryl was here last week and gone this week. All we have left are our memories. Make every memory a blessing, not a curse. Memories are precious compensation for the love we shared, but they can be also be retribution for love left unsaid. Remember him for the effect he had in your life, cherish the contribution that Darryl made that shaped who you are or taught you who you could be. Darryl would not want any of us to grieve his passing; he is with his parents again. Rather he would want us to celebrate those moments in our lives where he made a difference. I believe I speak for his family when I say to all of those who called Darryl a friend, thank you for being a part of his life. He cherished you all. You made a difference in his life.